Grammar Rant
by CelticCrossings
Summary: Read and find out.


**Disclaimer: I own nothing…*sigh***

**Guess what kiddies? It's a Castle Grammar Rant! So I decided to go on a grammar rant. My grammar is in no way perfect but some of the summaries and stories I attempt to read are just to preposterous for me to even care to bother with and I was going insane with this idea in my head. So here goes.**

Castle was sitting in the bull pen watching Kate do paperwork when an idea suddenly occurred to him. He'd read some of the police reports written by detectives other than Beckett and his abhorrence at the detectives' grammar failed to cease. It was driving him insane! Did these people learn anything in high school? Ugh! Beckett's case reports were always well written and concise. They flowed and Castle would read hers over another detective's any day. It probably helped that she was such an avid reader and was well educated so she really didn't have an excuse to have bad grammar. Hmm. So as he sat next to his muses desk he grabbed his notebook and pen and started writing. He'd type it all and blow it up later.

The Grammar Rules of Richard Castle:

1. Stay in the same tense! I mean really, I then we, then she? what on earth?

2. Then and Than...there is a difference!

3. Just thought that you all should know...SPELL CHECK EXISTS FOR A REASON!

4. Capitalization and punctuation. Look it up, commas and semicolons are NOT periods.

5. _

"Castle, what are you doing?" Kate Beckett asked her Writer Boy...Man...Castle was most definitely a man.

"Nothing." Castle said quickly going back to his notebook.

"Castle-" Kate said with warning in her voice.

"It's nothing, you'll see tomorrow." Castle said pacifying her.  
"Alright, go back to your notebook." Castle smiled and started number five.

5. After the use of the words if or wish, it is NOT _was_, the correct word is _were_.

"Hey Kate, what are some basic grammar rules you can think of?"

"What?" Kate asked in confusion and barely stifled curiosity.

"What are some basic grammar rules that come to mind. You're a good writer and speaker, what comes to mind?" Castle insisted.

"Um, I guess that 'and' doesn't fix everything."

He quickly wrote that down. 6. "And" doesn't fix everything."

"and that one should always capitalize 'I.'"

"Eh, too basic. Oh,"

7. Subject and verb should agree. Example: The dog ate yesterday. NOT the dog eats yesterday.

8. No double negatives like 'but hardly" and "no I never."

9. To, Too, Two. THEY ARE NOT THE SAME WORD!

10. Accept, Except. Again, not the same.

11. Unless you're British, the period comes BEFORE the quotation marks.

12. While we're on the subject, you, your, you're. THEY ARE NOT INTERCHANGEABLE.

Suddenly Castle noticed Kate putting her coat on. "Kate? Leaving already?"

"Yes Castle, it's nine o'clock. See you tomorrow?" Castle nodded in the affirmative and quickly packed his things.

Upon a quick edit in his study he decided that 12 rules were enough...for now, and that he had a perfect idea of how to display his list to the 12th. He quickly set up a projector and started working.

It took all night but he was finally done and quite proud of his end result. Kate was either going to kiss him or kill him. He was betting on the latter but hoping for he former./'

"Dad?" Alexis asked wandering into his office as she was leaving for school that next morning, "Yes my baby bird?" "What are you doing? Have you been up all night?" Castle shuffled a bit. "...Maybe." Alexis just rolled her eyes and left after giving her dad a hug and kiss.

Upon arriving at the precinct and not seeing Kate or Gates Castle decided that he couldn't waste this opportunity. He quickly grabbed Kate's blank murder board and fastened his poster to it. As soon as he was done he left for the break room and waited for the inevitable fireworks.

"CASTLE!" He cringed but decided to face the music. He was surprised when he stepped out to find Kate smiling at him. He cautiously approached the detective and sidled up next to her. She leaned down and whispered, "This is priceless" before she grabbed his earlobe and pulled.

"APPLES, APPLES. Kate, Apples!"

**And there you have it folks. Sorry if I offended anyone, but I just couldn't let this go. R&R please.**


End file.
